Hello everyone! :)
Well crap, I haven't posted a blog in a pretty long time..
This would probably bore some of you to death.. But this blog.. Is a thinky blog.. It's going to be full of thoughts and thinky feelings about being twenty, working, life, friends and maybe love?
Also it's 1:30 in the morning so you can't expect much from me, okay?
So, like I said it is 1:30 in the morning and I'm feeling very tired, however I can't sleep. I have come to the conclusion that I might need to write away my feelings. Maybe then will I feel like I could finally fall asleep.
Firstly, I turned twenty! Holy crap! That's two decades! I'm not sure if I feel like I'm twenty yet... I am still pretty immature for my age, I mean, come on.. I'd admit I have my VERY fair share of short comings and I regret every poor decisions and mistakes I made in the past and despite other people's opinions and views, I have made peace with myself about them. But saying I'm immature comes across as very self deprecating and I don't want that. However immature I am, I also believe I can be very mature about certain things too.. Yay. Like taking the high road for example. It's something I believe everyone should learn how to do.. To just breathe in and let all the anger go, you know? In the end, you really don't feel better if you stay angry for long. :)
Secondly, working.. I have a job now! Weeeeeee... I'm pretty thrilled about it. That's all I'm going to say. It will need more sacrifices.. That, I'm very sure of.. But I don't think anyone will get anywhere with out sacrifices. And as a real life adult, I'm going to learn about that first hand.. Very soon ;)
Thirdly, FRIENDS.. I have also been through a lot this year when it comes to friendships.. Friendships, I admittedly lost.. Friends that I miss to this, but when I look back at it.. It might be for the best that things are this way. I have very strong faith, and I believe that God brought me to this place for a reason.. He made me go through the heartbreak for a reason. A reason I might not completely understand, but I'm getting there. I am guilty of making mistakes and contributing to the rift between me and these people.. I'm sure of that, and I regret my decisions... And no matter how bad you wish things would get better, and you're faced with the reality that things ARE NOT going to get better. You just take a breather and accept that, that's how things are now. When you've done your part, and God knows how much you regret it, and what you honestly did to make it better.. Then you'd have to leave it up to him.
I doubted myself so much during these times, and really, my faith was the only thing that kept me grounded and sane.. I'm thankful for all the positive things that came my way after that.. And I couldn't have asked for better friends. The friends that have stuck with me through all this.. They know who they are..
I pray every night, that we find peace in our hearts to forgive and live our lives to the fullest. We're young, and spending even a little bit of our time hating people.. It isn't healthy.. And contrary to popular belief, it does not build character. :)
Well, that certainly one of the most incoherent ramblings on the planet, forgive me.. It's... *Checks time* 2:05am.
Ha...
Goodnight lovely people! <3
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